Selfie

The line from the male lead in Selfie is correct, social platforms are like little nails, flirting with everyone. Then you get a new self from the countless likes and comments, either inflated or diminished. When you gain something, you are also losing something... You post all your emotions and life details online, but in the real world, you lack normal interpersonal relationships, or you think you're not good at socializing. You treat strangers online as close friends, confiding in them, but it has no meaning for your growth. You spend a lot of time interacting, but neglect learning and other things, causing disappointment in others in real life.

Every day, we see various people on social platforms, constantly posting photos, constantly showing off, constantly wanting to get more and more likes. Unfortunately, when this really becomes part of your life, you are controlled by social platforms. Meeting in person is not as warm as chatting on Weibo or WeChat. #HeadDownCulture#

Selfie 01 Waiting for bilingual subtitles, just updating the lines and some feelings XD

One Perfect Moment After Another... I Can’t Stop Watching!

Each episode has a new ship-worthy moment... I’m dying here… Two adults who keep flirting and testing each other without realizing it. Let me say it again—too good to watch, help!! The slow-burn tension is so lethal, okay?!

In episode 2, Henry sees a post about Eliza getting hurt, doesn’t say anything, and immediately rushes to the hospital. Isn’t that classic unspoken love?! In episode 5, Henry rides in on a white horse to find Eliza. The atmosphere is so built up, and they almost kissed, but the phone signal interrupted them—Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! In episode 6, Eliza steps close to Henry and talks a lot. Then he suddenly pulls her in, and they lock eyes—one full of desire, the other trying hard to hold back. Eliza, feeling awkward, runs off—Oh my god, I love this ambiguous vibe!!! In episode 9, Henry tells Eliza not to play with her phone while having dinner with his parents, saying "you are the only light at the dinner table." OMG, so smooth! Best friend energy! I replayed the part where Henry took off his coat for Eliza twice! After she changes, she says, "Half of you is mine, half of me is yours," and then his look—boom, the tension skyrockets, I’m dying!! At the end of the episode, Eliza finally realizes she likes Henry and goes for it—CP fans are in a frenzy!! You all took your clothes off, Henry, and you still ran away? Are you sure you’re not the one who’s not ready??? [Not really, although we know the show got cut off and they didn't end up together, but still—how can anyone not shout "Go Eliza!!!"]

Episode 10, if only the plot had stopped in the middle, when Henry had figured out that he wants to try a romantic adventure with Eliza… Why did it suddenly turn into a heartbreak song? I don’t understand!!

Episode 12, Henry says, "If I go get the banana your sister prepared, are you going to kill me?" Eliza says, "Don't even think about it," and he’s like, “Okay, I won’t!” I can’t stop shipping them, thank you, thank you! And when Henry fought with Freddy in the mud, he was clearly jealous that Freddy was dating Eliza, but just wouldn’t say it. Maybe he’s trying to avoid the issue, not wanting to acknowledge it himself? Awkward adults are so cute!! At the end, Eliza blows a kiss that’s unclear who it’s for, but grabs it when no one is looking. [Actually, there were a lot of people, Henry, you better accept it, you like her!!]

The last episode, I don’t want to watch it, I can’t stop crying... Henry goes with Eliza to a protest, and after he helps her with the first line of criticism, Eliza’s eyes are glowing! They’re full of trust and admiration! Then, when Eliza starts to fight back, Henry smiles at her—his gaze is full of warmth, love, and care. It’s like a friend, a teacher, a lover, a father... so much tenderness! Why are you not dating, friends?!

The final heart-throbbing moment, when Henry says, "Although we haven’t slept together, I’ve seen her naked, and I feel a little proud of that," while smiling at the kids—he’s admitting it, you like her, just admit it! Please, next time, be NO FEAR and get ready—just go for it without hesitation!

Henry already said next time he’ll be ready, so it’s hard not to see them end up together… It’s already two-thirds into 2021, can we please get a season 2?! ABC, please don’t be ignorant, I’m begging you!

This is a really wonderful show. I discovered it on BiliBili last night, and within two days, I’ve already watched it twice.

What’s really strange is that, as a daughter deeply affected by a narcissistic mother, I find myself deeply empathizing with the narcissistic female lead. She exhibits almost all the traits of a narcissist: self-focus, lack of empathy for others, ostentatious on the outside but a coward on the inside, etc. Perhaps it’s because the plot is so well-crafted, but over the course of the episodes, the protagonist undergoes significant changes. Under Henry’s guidance, companionship, and transformation, she gradually builds real relationships with others and starts interacting honestly with people around her. Narcissists in real life don’t change that easily. For example, the attacks and refusals between the protagonist and others in the first episode are repeated multiple times, and by that point, the people around them are exhausted of their sympathy. But in the show, the protagonist shows visible changes in every episode, which, although unrealistic, is forgivable. The most important thing is that the protagonist feels very genuine. Every time she experiences pain, I feel it deeply. Whether it’s the pain of realizing she has no friends, or the discomfort of being rejected by Henry, it resonates strongly with me.

Especially when Henry rejects her, and she sings "Chandelier"—her performance is amazing, and I’ve searched high and low on QQ Music but haven’t found anyone who sings it better than her.

Aside from acting skills or camera work, this portrayal is a very accurate depiction of the inner workings of a narcissist. On the inside, they may feel emptiness, loneliness, and fragility. Deep down, the protagonist feels ugly, always seeing herself as the ugly girl from high school. To protect herself, she has made a lot of efforts to transform herself, turning her appearance into a shiny, glamorous state. She maintains a fitness routine, controls her diet, practices makeup techniques, buys a ton of clothes to decorate herself, and becomes a fashion expert. She has worked extremely hard to reinvent herself, and as Henry says, this effort has paid off. But even now, as a beautiful woman, she still remembers the core of herself as the girl who was bullied in high school, the one who had her hair cut off by bullies after staying over at their house. To some extent, she has adopted the persona of those who bullied her, in order to defend and protect herself. She was bullied by the most popular girl in high school, and in response, she chose to become a similar girl—someone who only cares about herself and seeks praise from the void, ignoring others. However, deep down, she is still not one of "them." At her core, she’s still just a little girl trying to protect herself. She thought that by changing her appearance, she could protect herself from isolation, but after becoming more glamorous and flashy, she discovers she still has no real friends, and finally decides to change. What she doesn’t realize is that she’s chosen the wrong role model. Those who bullied her, those narcissistic girls, are filled with emptiness, shame, fear, and cruelty. They learned early on the cynical side of the world, deciding to climb to the top of the social ladder to maintain their fragile outer shell, without ever working on their inner selves. When Henry tells her to find a role model, how can these bullies truly serve as a role model? The brilliance of this show is that years later, the protagonist realizes that the girls who used to bully her by cutting her hair are now forced to act like her to gain secular admiration and respect. This clever design serves as a mirror. The writers used this mirror to subtly show how much the protagonist has grown and gained strength over the years. Perhaps the girl who bullied her never imagined that the girl they once tormented would one day have such a reversal, becoming an outstanding, glamorous person with a successful career. I really admire the protagonist because, although her journey has been hard, she’s taken the correct—and most painful—path toward growth.

In addition to narcissism, the protagonist also has some borderline traits (which may also be a narcissistic trait, but I won’t distinguish them too clearly). She’s deeply afraid of not having relationships, and every time she’s abandoned, it’s the most painful thing for her. She gives off a feeling of not having clear boundaries with the outside world. She often doesn’t realize that her clothes or certain behaviors are inappropriate for the situation. At the same time, when she likes someone, like Henry, she will disregard boundaries and barges into his house to throw him a birthday party. This might not be an advantage in real life, but this trait also makes me empathize with her pain so much while watching her on the screen. I’m not sure if it’s the actor’s great performance, but every time her heart breaks, I feel an intense sense of empathy. I know I’ve recommended it before, but I have to recommend that "Chandelier" again—it's practically written for the protagonist. She can’t bear this extreme, heart-wrenching pain, so at the karaoke party, after Henry leaves, she grabs a bottle of alcohol and gets drunk, performing with raw emotion and going wild, sleeping with someone she shouldn’t. These are the things she frequently does, and I suspect she’s used to feeling the deep loneliness in her bones. To avoid this loneliness that clings to her like a parasite, these actions are often used to temporarily numb herself. The protagonist really feels like she doesn’t have any skin. In everyday life, she probably feels constantly rejected by others, and rejection from people is the most painful thing she’s felt since high school, so she has to remain shallow, self-focused, and lack empathy. How else could she protect herself? She’s still a child, not understanding why, despite being beautiful, people still don’t like her.

Someone once said that children raised in narcissistic environments often develop narcissistic traits. Perhaps I empathize with the protagonist because I empathize with a part of myself. The protagonist may not be a full narcissist, but she has clear signs of being wounded by narcissism. In a paradoxical way, she’s both the one hurt by narcissism and the one who uses narcissism to hurt others. So if such a person existed in my real life, I would probably dislike her, but when I step back and see her inner, most real part, I feel sympathy, pity, and even love for her.

I’ve recently been watching the American show The Rebooted Lady . It tells the story of Eliza, the protagonist, a social media influencer who is too immersed in her online presence and realizes that she has no real friends. She seeks the help of her colleague Henry, who has extensive marketing experience, to help her reshape her image.

In the show, Henry offers a great summary of social networks: social platforms are like huge nails constantly scratching people's itch to be noticed. Nowadays, people check their phones every ten minutes, as if there’s always something urgent to do or something to scratch. Eliza, in the show, is also addicted to social media. She’s hooked on the attention of “friends” who are actually strangers, finding instinctive satisfaction in their flattery. The reason Eliza behaves this way is that, growing up, she was always left out. No one spoke to her or played with her. So, during parties, she would pick up her phone to make it seem like she wasn’t so lonely. She also has a peculiar habit: she likes to stand and eat in front of the trash can. She says standing helps her stay fit, and eating in front of the trash can prevents her from dirtying herself. But when Henry calls her out, she admits that it’s because no one would eat with her at school, so she came up with this trick to make herself look less pathetic. I remembered a little boy I saw at the pool once, who didn’t dare play with other kids, so he pretended to be having a great time with his dad, as if saying, “Look, I can be happy too.” Suddenly, I saw the childhood of many people, and perhaps their whole lives. Now, that trash can, that dad, has transformed into the phone that carries social media. Without realizing it, everyone looks a little less lonely.

In the first episode, when Eliza finds out that her boyfriend is married, and it causes her to embarrass herself in front of her colleagues, she tries to seek comfort online. She posts a status saying, "Can someone bring me some ginger ale?" However, none of her 263,000 Instagram followers bring her the drink. All they do is like and comment. In the end, she has to turn to Siri. Eliza realizes, “Followers don’t equal true friends.” The internet has lowered the bar for affirming or denying others. People don’t need to meet in person or know each other—they only need to click a like to show affirmation. But in this situation, “affirmation” becomes a lot cheaper. Maybe 100 likes still don’t carry as much weight as someone telling you face-to-face, “You’re amazing.” At Maureen and Terrance’s wedding, Eliza suddenly breaks down in tears. She says, "Hearing Maureen recite those crazy vows, I suddenly realized that even if thousands of people retweet my tweets and like my posts, no one will ever look at me like Terrance looks at her.”

Eliza is very bad at interacting with people in real life, so when she’s sick, not a single friend calls to check on her. To help her improve her image, Henry has her start by greeting others, beginning with the receptionist Charmonique (Charmonique is my favorite character in the show, perfectly portraying various expressions of Black people, and her son Kevin is her mini-me, which is hilarious). Henry has Eliza ask Charmonique, "Did you sleep well last night?" Charmonique responds, "Not at all, because my son, who sleeps with me, has sleep apnea." Henry has Eliza comfort Charmonique, and Eliza replies, “I don’t have kids, so that’s great.” LOL.

The show has only aired up to the fourth episode, and I’m very curious and excited to see how Henry will gradually turn Eliza into a beloved lady. Personally, I really dislike people who play with their phones while eating or talking. I always think that even if there’s nothing to say, silence is better than staring at a phone. I’ll end with a poem by Gu Cheng:

"The grass is sowing its seeds, The wind is shaking its leaves, We stand, without speaking, And it’s just beautiful."

The show feels very average. The humor is forced and unnatural. The characters aren't well-developed either. It all seems very exaggerated and odd. Before watching, I heard that the emotions in this show were delicate, and that the Americans who cut it were like pigs who couldn't eat fine rice. After watching, I feel... well, maybe I’m the pig.

The male lead has a strong East Asian dad vibe, while the female lead is a net celebrity who’s addicted to the online world. Honestly, I don't feel any chemistry between them.

Also, the character settings and background are too far-fetched. The setting of the pharmaceutical company where the male and female leads work doesn't give off any real work atmosphere. The female lead, as the chief sales officer, seems to just rely on her looks. If that’s all it takes to become a top salesperson, then the company should have many, many beautiful women. Why is she the only one like that while others are dressed professionally? She’s a top saleswoman and a net celebrity without the company’s help—how could anyone achieve that without brains? It just feels weird. And the male lead—what exactly does he do? He seems to just wander around, throw parties, and do team-building. Yet most of the scenes take place in the company, which is pretty awkward.

Also, the pacing of the story isn’t great. Every episode doesn’t feel like it has any intense conflict, contradictions, or suspense. It’s just like a romance drama where people fall in love for the sake of falling in love.

The East Asian dad vibe and feminism don’t blend well together. "Everything needs to be done your way" will only hurt you. Shaw Bernard’s Pygmalion was written because of the gender imbalance of that era. The male lead was a professor from a noble family, while the female lead was a poor flower girl. The gap in their social standing made equality almost impossible. The female lead yearned for the knowledge and status of the male lead’s class. In modern times, a female net celebrity and a pharmaceutical company’s chief sales officer would earn a lot of money. She even works in the same company as the male lead. They are equals in terms of profession, and socially, the female lead is obviously ahead of him. Setting it up so the male lead has to "transform" her, while they both "transform" each other, ends up feeling awkward, and neither side can be fully satisfied.

Why would the female lead let this man "transform" her? The male lead’s life and career are not things the female lead aspires to, and he doesn’t attract her at first either. If this basic premise doesn’t hold, then all the subsequent developments in the story lack credibility.

Rather than writing about transforming a lady, the screenwriter should have written about transforming a trendy guy. After all, the male lead Henry is someone who has the ability and motivation to learn. Let him learn from the female lead how to become a network influencer in order to get a promotion or salary increase. In the process, they could mutually transform each other. I think this would be more realistic and interesting. Imagine the clash of East Asian paternalism and Western feminism—there would definitely be plenty of quotable lines, intellectual conflicts, and sparks flying!